


The Depth of Trust

by cadkitten



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Confessions, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Instability, Mutual Masturbation, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 14:13:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13503228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: Neil's breath caught and held as he came out from under sleep. He wasn't alone and it took him a minute to remember he wasn't with Riko anymore. Which meant... nothing. Absolutely nothing. No one should have been in the bed with him.





	The Depth of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, I can't read anything without ending up hopelessly lost in needing to write something. So here I am.  
> Song[s]: "State of My Head" by Shinedown // They don't know where we've been. We got that concrete street skin. The only way I'm leavin' is dead. That's the state of my, state of my, state of my head. //
> 
> Of note, I've only read books 1, 2 and the first 2 chapters of 3 so far.

Neil's breath caught and held as he came out from under sleep. He wasn't alone and it took him a minute to remember he wasn't with Riko anymore. Which meant... nothing. Absolutely nothing. No one should have been in the bed with him.

Before he could move the hand on his arm slowly tightened and breath ghosted over his ear. "Shh..." It was so familiar, so achingly familiar that Neil didn't fight it. His heart hammered in his chest and his breath still refused to leave his lungs properly, but he didn't come up swinging knowing it was Andrew at his back. 

Maybe it made no sense to trust him, not when everyone else thought he shouldn't be trusted, but to Neil he was someone he could lean on. He'd given Andrew his life and then he'd protected him with his own, knowing it was a thankless job, knowing Andrew would never let on that it mattered to him. Though he had to admit, he hadn't ever expected to wake up with Andrew in his bed. Sure, it was comforting, having someone he trusted covering his back, feeling the weight of Andrew's arm over his shoulders, his hand holding tight to Neil's arm. Even the hard lines of his body pressed up behind him felt like something he could relax into.

"Why are-" his voice cracked and Andrew's fingers came to press over his lips, sealing them shut for a moment as he shifted closer, as his lips nearly pressed against his ear as he spoke.

"You were having a nightmare. Anyone who came in, you took a swing at... except me. When they brought me in, you relaxed."

Somewhere boiling under the words, Neil could sense the hesitation Andrew had in letting them out. Maybe it was because he didn't want to show his hand that he'd helped Neil or maybe it was something more, but whatever it was, Neil was willing to ignore that in favor of what that meant for him. To trust someone this deeply... he'd let his guard down. His mother had told him again and again not to trust anyone else to have his back and yet, here he was. 

Neil's heart still pounded in his chest, a rapid staccato that set him on edge though he knew now it had nothing to do with Andrew being so close to him and more to do with the edge of panic he'd likely be in all night long. He'd never had issues with nightmares before and he supposed he had Riko to thank for this. One more thing to add to the horrible list of shit he could blame on that piece of trash. 

Realizing Andrew was waiting on him to react outwardly, Neil reached up and lightly let his fingers trace over Andrew's against his mouth, trailed them down to the familiar black bands and then back up to curl against his fingers though he made no move to remove them from his mouth. Instead, he closed his eyes and relaxed against Andrew's body. 

Andrew slowly peeled his fingers from Neil's mouth to ghost them down his body and settled them against Neil's hip, one of the few places that wasn't completely covered in still-healing wounds. Neil kept his hand clasped with Andrew's as they lay there in silence.

"I told you I had your back." The words were quiet, rough around the edges with emotion Neil was certain Andrew had never once meant to share with him. He squeezed his fingers in response, knowing anything more could lose him this moment and anything less would be taken as rejection. 

He wanted this, wanted Andrew here like he'd only ever wanted Exy before and while that should have scared him... it just didn't.

\----------

Neil woke to the rigid feeling of Andrew's body tense behind him. They'd been sharing a bed for weeks now, the pair of them inseparable in their sleep unless everyone wanted Andrew near-murderous and Neil screaming in his sleep. No one pretended to understand and neither Neil nor Andrew explained themselves. Twice Neil had woken to someone else in the room and both times one of Andrew's blades had been shining in his hand in an instant. The first time it had only been Matt, coming in to go to sleep. The second had been after they switched to Andrew's room and it had been Nicky. 

Neither had been hurt, but the threat had been there if they'd so much as been disturbed. Whereas before people got punched or kicked by Andrew when they woke him, now it was a very real threat of lethal force and Neil privately thought Andrew kept him there as much for his own sake as he did for Neil's.

Tonight, though, he felt no one else in the room, heard nothing else around them. Only that Andrew still had his hand resting over Neil's own, just as they had been sleeping since the first time he'd woken with him in his bed, but that the rest of his body was pulled away from him. It was only enough that they weren't touching, but he could still feel Andrew's body heat radiating from him and he wondered at it, at what would make him move away like this. 

Easing himself back against Andrew, he turned his hand and weaved their fingers together, a quietly mumbled, "Andrew?" freeing itself from his lips.

He barely heard the strangled gasp before Andrew's fingers were nearly crushing his own in their grip. He felt the tremble that ran through Andrew's body and belatedly _why_ as he came into contact with Andrew's very much aroused body.

It didn't bother Neil at all, didn't make him flinch away or even want to retreat. Instead, he squeezed Andrew's hand in his own. "Relax."

Andrew shifted just enough to try to get comfortable again and Neil's body lit up like a Christmas tree. The single action sent thrills through his entire system, left him shocked as he began to react, his cock slowly tenting his sleep pants in response to the stimulus. His breath huffed out in a little whoosh and Andrew froze again.

They lay there for a while, neither one talking, both of them still intensely aroused as Neil got used to the feeling. It took him a bit to work up to what he wanted to do, but eventually he dragged Andrew's hand down and pushed it up under his shirt, pressing it over the worst of the damage Riko had done to him. His fingers released Andrews only to start stroking lightly over the back of his hand until he felt Andrew's body un-tense behind him. 

Andrew's hips rocked forward and despite himself, Neil moaned. It was a tiny little sound, barely birthed into the world, but it was everything Andrew had needed to know. His hand slid up to the center of Neil's chest, his hips giving another rock against him. "You want this."

"Don't ask stupid questions." Andrew's own words, spit back out at him without hesitation.

The ghost of Andrew's breath slid over Neil's shoulder and then his hand was exploring, sliding down to Neil's hip to hold onto him. "Say it."

Neil understood in an instant why Andrew needed to hear him tell him it was okay and he slid his hand down to cover Andrew's, squeezed hard as he rolled his own hips, breath catching at the feeling of his cock pressing against the material of his pants. It'd been so long since he'd been hard like this, since he hadn't just woken up to having finished in his sleep and let it be what it was. "I want _you_."

Andrew's shaky breath caught Neil off guard for a moment, as did the tremble in Andrew's hand. But it was gone a second later, replaced by the press of warm lips against his shoulder and then the waistband of his pants being dragged down to expose his length. "Show me... touch yourself for me."

With a shiver, Neil let his hand slide away from Andrew's, dragged it over his hip and then down to fist around his erection. His entire body tensed as he started to stroke, his breath coming in small gasping pants within seconds. His entire body was on fire with need within seconds, leaving him trembling in Andrew's arms. He whined and Andrew dragged his hand up to Neil's chest again, pressing over his heart as Neil stroked frantically. Every few strokes Neil made, Andrew rocked his hips forward, dragging his own cock against him. 

It didn't take long, was something so much more fleeting than Neil had ever hoped it would be as he came undone in Andrew's arms. He muffled his strangled cry in Andrew's pillow as he started to cum, felt warmth spread through his entire body because Andrew drew him impossibly closer for the duration, protecting him until he was done, until he'd caught his breath and came back to himself.

He started to turn in Andrew's arms, wanted to reach for him and wrap his arms around him and so much more, but the instant he went to move, Andrew held him in place. Instead, he shifted behind him, his hand leaving Neil's chest. Andrew put distance between them and for a moment Neil felt the shock of loss, the fear of thinking he'd gone wrong somewhere, but then he heard the desperate gasp of Andrew's breath, felt the frantic similarity to the movements coming from behind him and he understood. It was Andrew's turn.

Neil slid his hand down to where Andrew's other arm rested under him, to the black band there and he dipped his fingers under, freed the knife Andrew kept there and held it. He'd half expected to be hit for his efforts, to have Andrew's hand strangling the life out of him the instant he'd touched the band. Instead it seemed to have the opposite effect, left him panting behind Neil, left his voice rising as his movements grew more and more desperate. 

Andrew crushed his face against Neil's back to muffle his pleasured cries as he started to cum. Neil could feel his entire body was shaking, trembling with the effort of releasing, and Neil wondered how long it had been for him since he'd been able to let his guard down enough to enjoy it. 

It took Andrew a few minutes before he moved again, this time reaching to slip the knife from Neil's hand and put it back into its sheath. He didn't say anything and Neil really didn't feel the need to either. He just relaxed back into Andrew's hold and closed his eyes again. This time when their hands found one another, it was different. It was a confession of sorts and Neil knew nothing in the world could ever come between them and survive. Not now, not anymore.

 _Never again_.


End file.
